It’s strange being injured with high work ethic. Some days when I'm hurting I tell myself "well it’s ok to take a day off", or sometimes in my case unfortunately, a few days off. Since I can remember, I have always had this slightly psychotic voice inside my head that screams at me, “never take a day off, never be in the back of the pack, never skip the last set of a lift, never miss the last interval of a running workout, never quit, if you allow this you are a coward, real champions finish what they start.” But that is not exactly the case in real life. Real champions are smart, is probably a more accurate way to put it. Smart, that's a tall order for an athlete. It’s a whole lot easier to be tough. Some people wouldn't agree with me, but they're wrong. Being tough is a snap.
I look at this holiday period I purposely used as an excuse to rest, and I feel like a lazy piece of crap. That crazy voice in my head, possibly a prime motivator, is tearing me apart. But in reality this break was probably very smart. I've been getting after it since well....I guess I never really stopped. I just found other ways to channel that energy, mostly in the weight room and on the bike. Now with all these rest days under my belt, I feel soft, behind, and disturbed with myself. Hopefully I'm wrong, and my first session back will be fantastic. I've learned so much in these past months, and I have been so patient. I feel the time to implement it all with minimal flaw, has finally come. Like I’ve invested all this money in the bank and now I finally get to withdraw some walking around money.
After the few jump sessions I have managed to sneak in, in meditation I've realized that in the past few years I've been trying so hard it’s been detrimental to my goals. It’s a funny concept, someone trying so hard and wanting something so bad, the path that it has led them down is ultimately the wrong direction with the right intentions.
Now days, I must accept the fact that less is more, and more is less. It was so much easier being dumb and tough. I miss those days.