18' 1" Olympic Trials 2008

18' 1" Olympic Trials 2008

Thursday, January 6, 2011

The wrong direction with the right intension's

It’s strange being injured with high work ethic. Some days when I'm hurting I tell myself "well it’s ok to take a day off", or sometimes in my case unfortunately, a few days off. Since I can remember, I have always had this slightly psychotic voice inside my head that screams at me, “never take a day off, never be in the back of the pack, never skip the last set of a lift, never miss the last interval of a running workout, never quit, if you allow this you are a coward, real champions finish what they start.” But that is not exactly the case in real life. Real champions are smart, is probably a more accurate way to put it. Smart, that's a tall order for an athlete. It’s a whole lot easier to be tough. Some people wouldn't agree with me, but they're wrong. Being tough is a snap.
I look at this holiday period I purposely used as an excuse to rest, and I feel like a lazy piece of crap. That crazy voice in my head, possibly a prime motivator, is tearing me apart. But in reality this break was probably very smart. I've been getting after it since well....I guess I never really stopped. I just found other ways to channel that energy, mostly in the weight room and on the bike. Now with all these rest days under my belt, I feel soft, behind, and disturbed with myself. Hopefully I'm wrong, and my first session back will be fantastic. I've learned so much in these past months, and I have been so patient. I feel the time to implement it all with minimal flaw, has finally come. Like I’ve invested all this money in the bank and now I finally get to withdraw some walking around money.
After the few jump sessions I have managed to sneak in, in meditation I've realized that in the past few years I've been trying so hard it’s been detrimental to my goals. It’s a funny concept, someone trying so hard and wanting something so bad, the path that it has led them down is ultimately the wrong direction with the right intentions.
Now days, I must accept the fact that less is more, and more is less. It was so much easier being dumb and tough. I miss those days.

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