18' 1" Olympic Trials 2008

18' 1" Olympic Trials 2008

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Beyond a Turning Point

I feel like writing something. But I don’t know how to put it into words. It’s a feeling or recognition of sorts. I can’t tell you how it happened or why. It just did. It was like I’ve been asleep for so many years, and I finally woke up. Something has changed inside of me and it is powerful. I’ve felt it growing stronger for some time now as it has finally erupted. You’ve heard descriptive terms used over time, a moment of enlightenment, the breakout principle, a waking of the mind, etc. There are times in ones life where you have a glimpse of it, or more than just a glimpse. I am experiencing something extremely profound and I feel that it has forever changed me.
You may be reading this thinking that I am mad or confused. However, I have never felt so sane, and even the term sanity feels more variable then it used too. The path to the future I desire has always been in front of me, I just never truly could see it, or understand it until now. The blinders have been removed. The why is becoming clearer. It points to a chain of events in the past month, 6 months, year, decade, life. To write it and read it even now looks strange to the eye, but makes perfect sense in my mind.  
I had a term I used to write in my journals, notes, and even phones. It was a term I created for me, and for me alone. I didn’t often share it, or try to rationalize it with others. It was the part of me trying to get out, the part I have needed most. I have been in a constant battle with myself for so many years, and that battle has finally been won.
That term was, “be the person trapped in your mind.” I have finally become that person. 

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