I have been trying to find better way's of distracting myself than the traditional Irish methods that came so natural to me after it all happened. Bikes are good, disc golf is better, and pole vault, in the right atmosphere, perfect. So today i decided to jump. I have been keeping my regiment very constructive and precise. To be honest it was starting to get a little wearing. Now that USA's are over, I feel like I deserve to have a little more fun doing my favorite thing. So today my goal for the session, was not to have a goal. Which sounds contrary to the previously stated idea, but it makes sense in my minds strange form of reality. I wasn't going there to get a lot of work done, I was going to have a good time. I planned on it feeling like a day at the park, not a day at the office. It was something close to that, but was also a struggle at times. My body and mind are not near as sharp as they were 4 days ago.
To some, this may sound silly, and it has been done by many.
By having no goal in mind before the session started, I achieved a small lifetime goal anyway. I cleared a 17' bar jumping on a 15' pole. There are probably people out there that can do this any day of the week. But I've never had the opportunity or access to a 15' pole big enough to pop me over such a height, and maybe it's just that I'm not technically good enough. Today I was having a terrible session, and after reducing my pole size again and again in order to make the pit, I found myself on one of my favorite old 15' poles that I have had many a great session on in the past. After taking a few mediocre jumps on it, I threw a bar up at 17' thinking what the hell, I've probably taken over 100 attempts at this height in my career possibly on this same 15' pole and failed, but I just might make it today. First attempt, popped right over the bar. It was awesome. I needed a small victory like that so bad, so bad that it's hard to put into words, cause right now it seems like the universe has just decided to take a massive dump on me. But that's not forward thinking, and it's a waste of my time and energy.
Another funny thing, and it's probably silly to you, but it put a big smile on my face. You know those weird metal puzzles that come in the form of hoops, horseshoes, rings, chains, etc.? Well I knock those things out like nobodies business. My girlfriend, who is so amazing, went out and found the level 8, 2010, hardest puzzle they have made to date. I sat down and solved that bad boy in 4 minutes tonight, and returned it to its original state mind you, which is half the battle sometimes.
My body hurts, my heart aches, my mental health is lacking, and I was still capable of what I consider cool achievements in one day. Imagine what I can do without all this fucking adversity that keeps getting thrown at me. Just imagine that, cause I'm trying. And maybe it's the adversity that brings out the success, but that is a topic for another day.
So yes, today, it was a better day. Small victories lead too not only short term happiness, but the important addition of necessary confidence in the pursuit of long term goals and accomplishments.